If I were to marry comedian Margaret Cho....do you think she would be come Margaret Chi ?

So, these past 2 weeeks have been pretty uneventful, not much going on eh boys and girls? It's true, I am guilty as well, as my nights have consisted mainly of hanging out with the beautiful flower that is Erica and playing World of Warcraft. God do I love that game.

In other news, I've had the same talk with Rick(Pot's Friend), Tom, and Erica in the past 3 days about the same topic. What is that topic you say? OH I WILL TELL YOU.

Dating a crazy ass.

See, it is my belief that before a man can truly find a woman he loves, understands, and can settle down with, maybe even spend the rest of his life with, he has to date "a crazy". It's a rite of passage that all men must go through. The reason why is so that you know what dating a crazy ass bitch is like. See, if you know what is bad, what you don't want, and what is unhealthy, then you are better able to indentify what you do want, what will make you happy, and what is healthy. For example:

I've dated 2 crazies in my life(pre-whitney), whom shall remain nameless for I don't want to spread any bad blood. I know what it's like to have a really possessive, jealous, and crazy ass girlfriend who wants nothing more than to suck up your life and everything in it. They don't want you hanging out with friends, playing video games, having alone time, going out, nothing. They want you to spend time with them and them only, and when your not, they want you at home thinking about them and anticipating when's the next time they can slice off more of your balls. I've also had the flip-side, girls who don't know what they want, what the fuck is going on, and are just plain insane with no rational or logic to their emotions or decisions. So when Whitney came along, I used this previous experience, along with my good friend TOm telling me he got a bad feeling about her, to dump her ass after about a month and a half. All that girl wanted was to tie me down ASAP and get a ring on her finger, whatever it took. Hell, she was utterly shocked when she didn't comprehend why I wouldn't spend $300 on a dog for a girlfriend of one month. And then there was the famous "do you think we'll get married" line after 3 weeks.

Now, one of Pot's best friends, Pat, who was in their little group of friends(8+ years), recently got engaged and married to a girl by the name of Jamie. It was his first girlfriend.

Ouch.

We all know what happens next. This was the spawn of Satan. Since being married, he has moved 3 hours away to where SHE wanted to move, never hangs out, isn't ALLOWED to go up north with the guys, I mean, he has been completely neutered. SHE WOULDN't EVEN LET HIM HO TO HOOTERS FOR HIS BACHELOR PARTY!! I can understand no stripper's, some girls find it disrespectful....but hooters!?!? Why? Cuase it was his first girlfriend, he didn't know better. He hadn't dated a crazy before to know that this bitch was crazy. Poor ignorant bastard, his life is basically over.

So in closing my fellow gentlemen, if you ever come across one of these nutjobs, don't stay clear necessarily. Date them for a month, maybe 3. Notice their patterns, memorize their behaviors, take note of their emotional instability. This will help you in the future when you coem across many more of these whackos. And trust me....there are MANY.

Signs to Look For:
- Starts moving in clothes, bathroom products, etc before 3 months time.
- Starts buying knick knacks for the house, pictures, rugs, new shower curtains, whatever within 3 months.
- Talks about marriage and your future within 3 months.
- Gets irritated or pissed when you hang out with your friends
- If you ever want to play sports, videogames, watch tv, they give you the "oh, so you would rather do X than spend tiem with me" line
- All your friends hate her
- When funny stories of embarassing things you've done come up at parties or gatherings, she says "yeah well, those days are over, he wont be doing that anymore" and laughs diabolically.
- Freaks out when you TALK to other girls
- Gets mad at REALLY dumb shit, like your 5 min late, or forgot to put gas in your car and have to stop, or you didn't clean your house "for her" before she came over.
- Over-analyzes shit and comes to conlusions over something that doesn't exist.

If you find a girl who doesn't exhibit these behaviors, doesn't mind when you hang out with your friends, doens't even flinch when you mention you want to be alone tonight, doesn't give you the bullshit "i cant believe your picking a video game over me" line when you just want to play a game for once and have some fun.....then keep her, and don't ever let her get away. Chances are, you will be hard pressed to find another.

And....(it gets sappy here) after more dates than I can count, I finally found one. Erica Sheid, I freakin love you so much it's ridiculous, and I can only hope to make you as unbelievable happy as you've made me. I think I'm gonna keep ya :)